A thought..

Sometimes, when I have nothing to do and when all I'm waiting for is drowsiness to consume me.. I gape at the thought of how I merely am a speck of dust in the vastness of the universe.

And this time, at this exact moment, I feel that sometime.

I'm not outstanding, brilliant, perfect.. and that makes me feel like an ant standing next to a blue whale. With all the amazing people around me, I can not compare myself to them, their hugeness next to my nothingness.. their glory next to my flickering - almost fading light.

I don't do things that amaze people. I don't enter a room with people looking at me twice.. I don't even think they notice me entering. I don't have that special ability to make a person laugh because I said something funny. I can't sing, nor can I entertain someone especially when they're down.

But I try.

Everyday I wake up and I say to myself that I will. And everynight I go to bed hoping that atleast a fragment of that day, I made atleast one person feel special.

Sometimes, I feel inadequate, inferior, unworthy.

And sometimes, sometimes become often.

But then I realize, who am I trying to kid? Why must I pretend to be someone I'm not?

At a particular session one day, I found out that I'm only fooling myself to be trying - vainly - to be someone better, someone not me.

You know why?

Because at the end of the day, we don't have to please anyone. Just one. Just God. We don't have to please our peers for them to accept us, we don't have to succumb to whatever pressure they put us into.. we don't have to change ourselves harshly to fit the stereotype our parents set us, we don't have to put people down to achieve what we want..

We just have to be ourselves.

I bet God would want that for us.