37/365

If it's possible, I've learned the one of the greatest things a college student would learn today. What's ironic with that fact is that I didn't learn it inside the four walls of the classroom. Okay, so maybe I learned it in a university but I didn't learn it inside the strict confines of the place.

I learned that your high school friends are still the best things that could ever happen to you.

When I was in high school, I had experiences where the only reason I had the drive to go to school every day despite the stress, the expectations and the fear for tomorrow was my friends. They were there. Always. It didn't matter that they gave pieces of advice they deemed necessary, what was important was that they listened. It didn't matter that every few days, there'll be bickering between two parties, what's more important was that everyone made up at the end of the day.

It didn't matter that we were going to drift apart in terms of distance although maybe it was a problem we had at first. We just had to realize that no matter the distance, we'd always be there for each other no matter what. And whenever one of us decided to drop by someone else's pad, we'd be more than happy to accommodate.

You know what they say about your college friends knowing who you are and your high school friends knowing why you're like that?

I finally understand.

Even then we knew we'd be unbreakable.

36/365

I can never become not embarrassing. Sometimes I wonder how my friends manage with me. Sometimes I wonder how I manage without my friends.

You know how sometimes you are just positive you know something that you're practically ready to argue with someone who looks like they'll oppose you but then you realize that all along, it's you who were making the mistake and you've no choice but to slink away and try not to look in the eyes of the other person? (Or if you actually are a calm and collected person, unlike me, you'll say sorry and head out.)

Yeah, I had that experience today.

It was kind of mortifying, to say the least.

Lessons learned:
a. Make sure of where you are.
b. Don't argue with people who know far better. Unless it's a classroom setting, in which case you're perfectly allowed to practically shout out your ignorance.
c. Just.. keep calm.

I'm still wondering why I haven't thought of this.

[via]

35/365

Today we had our long test in Filipino and I must say, my view on the subject (and on my classmates in general) have grown enormously positive over the weeks.

This is why I never trust my instincts with regards to first impressions, I'm always pretty sure they never last. Or maybe it's kind of better to have a negative first impression, then slowly getting blown away because the people you expect much less turns out to be the people who'd be first to do the most amazing things.

34/365

Well forgive me if I seem forward but I've never seen anything like you.

You started to see right through me,
And I'm loving every minute of it,
Its like I'm born again every time I breath in so,
If you're curious my favorite color's blue,
And I like to sing in the shower,
If you like I'll sing to you.

[via]

Tell me all of your hopes, all of your dreams, I want you to take me there.


Tell me every thing, every breath, I want you to know I'll be there.
There's just one more thing, one request..


I want you to take me with you.
_____________________________________


Take Me With You is quite possibly the only Secondhand Serenade song I've really grown to love.

33/365

I honestly don’t know what I would want in a guy. I’m not sure if I’d like a guy who would call me up at 3 AM even if it’s to say I love you. I’m not sure if I’d like a guy who’d never let me pay for things. I’m not sure if I’d like a guy who’d tell everyone that I’m his. I’m not sure if I’d like a guy who would always gift me with couple shirts or couple mugs or couple bracelets or whatever it is couples like to give one another.

I’m not sure at all..

32/365

It slightly bothers me (not that I should be bothered with my bothered-ness) that there are kids who just go out and squander their parents' money and think it's all cool because their parents are well-off and by using the transitive property (ah, Math. *imagines reader turn green*), they're rich as well.

So yeah, if you're one of those people (I could also be talking to myself with this one -- who knows?), I'd like to tell you one thing. It's not yours. The money you're spending. The money you believe is yours just because it was deposited under your name. It's. Not. Yours.

That's the money your parents slaved their asses off because they want you to experience the luxuries they weren't able to grow up with. Sure. Spend. But spend wisely. Use the money but don't use it too much. Moreover, know where everything came from and give a piece of gratitude back.

Just because you're an heir to a multi-billion company doesn't give you the right to buy everything in sight. It's not yours unless it came from you.

I'm not making much sense, I guess.

31/365

You can never trust me with a phone. Aside from the fact that a) I don't really handle anything well, let alone something expensive like a phone; b) I'm the type of person who gets impatient when people don't reply to my texts but who take all the time in the world to answer a text back.

I'm also an overly sensitive prick when I put my mind into it. I could become a stubborn ass when I want to and unfortunately, it's something I crave for everyday.

You know sometimes I wonder with my present attitude, it'd be asymptotic to impossible to find someone who'll like me and who won't require me to change. At least not too much.

30/365

You know what I experienced today that I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to experience again any time soon?

Loss.

I attended my first ever UAAP game live and it was honestly heartbreaking to find the team you're rooting for lose by 3 points when you were almost positive halfway through the game that you would win.

What's more heartbreaking (and quite ironically -- very heartwarming) was when every Atenean in the stadium, alumni, student, or dreamer screamed "Win or lose it's the school we choose!" It's nice to think that despite losing from one of the fiercest rivals in the league, everyone stood up and said this whole-heartedly.

Win or lose, it IS the school we choose.

I don't think why other people think otherwise.

29/365

Today was a humbling experience.


I've always knew that my fourth year adviser was slightly disappointed with the fact that I let go of the UP dream to run after my Ateneo dream; but since then it has been a challenge for me to do well so that at least if I didn't go to UP (it's my first choice for law school though), I'd still make her proud.


Anyway, we had a conversation in Facebook earlier today and after the updates on each other's lives, she said how she missed having us around and how - in a weird way - she missed how I always surprised her and turned her doubts about my abilities upside down.


It was actually a big thing for me.


I guess it stems from the fact that for most (college) students, the people they would want most to impress (or probably show that they’re maturing and becoming better people) are their high school teachers. 

28/365

Today oozed of awesomeness.

Bought this at the second-hand bookstore today. However, I felt it was still very expensive at 250 pesos. But whatever. It's Neil Gaiman. And Neil Gaiman = worth it. 

I'm only at page 88 but I'm really looking forward to finishing it. I have about 3 unfinished books and if I don't finish reading this, then I'll just be giving myself a hard time (and a bout of migraine) when I do decide to get back to it. I have trouble remembering where I left things off.

Or maybe I just need a bookmark.

Also, I watched this piece of genius today! (Brother's treat. Hell yeah.)

Oh my goodness, it could be probably equated in two words (MIND = BLOWN) and summarized in one (excuse me for the expletive but MINDFUCK).

Watch it. Nolan has, once again, made a work of art. There were 3 people/things that made me love it more. First, Joseph OOZING SEXINESS Gordon-Levitt. Second, Ellen Page. (LOL there's this picture on Tumblr where it says Conception and the picture's her Juno picture. Moving on...) And third, the Harry Potter DH trailer before the movie started. <3

Watch. It. As. Soon. As. Humanly. And. Financially. Possible.

27/365

Today just feels like a limbo. I want to cry, I want to laugh, I want to fake apathy, I want to get angry, I want to scream, and ironically, I want to not feel at all.

I don't know. Today started out amazingly. In fact, my mood went from good to practically ecstatic as the day progressed. However, the rain had to get in the way. You know how sometimes we laugh at how pathetic people in movies are when they get all sad while it's pouring while they don their earphones on and listen to Nickel Creek or Coheed and Cambria? I was that person earlier tonight.

When I got home, I gave myself a scalding hot shower while listening to Yiruma. After that, I put on my favourite PJs on and wrote a letter to my dad (nope, I'm not a cheesy daughter, it was actually required for something) and since I was reminded of this video, I couldn't help but gouge my eyes out crying. Don't blame me, it's been 2 months since I last saw my 'rents and about a month since I last talked to my dad over the phone!

----

Also filed under: A shitty day because I gave it permission to become one even though I shouldn't have,

26/365

One of my favourite teachers in high school told us something that I do not plan on forgetting any time soon. 

"Three things. Write a book, have a family, plant a tree. These are three things you should do in order to change the world. Not necessarily in that order."

Seriously? Write a book? Have a family? I mean, when I was 14 I wrote a New Year's Resolution that I would have my first book published at 17. However (and this is a huge however), I did not know that writing a book would be staggeringly hard. I mean, if you want to write a well-written book, you don't just write, you think about it for a long, long time. Unlike some writers out there.. *ehem* SMeyer *ehem*

..okay, I don't hate SMeyer. Too much. Okay, maybe I really don't.

Also, have a family?

Have a family?

Have a family? Me?

I'll just go somewhere and plant 3 trees hoping it would compensate..

25/365

Sometimes I tell myself that now that I'm in college, I am completely over that high school crushing stage.. turns out I thought wrong. Honestly, now that I have my first full-blown college crush, I feel very much like the slightly younger me; only not in a uniform.

Also, now that I'm in college, you would think that I'm not as awkward and stupid as I were a year ago. Again, that's a total lie. In fact, I've become worse. Click link to realize my stupidity and (probably) laugh your ass off at the irony of my existence.

Feelings of inadequacy, Part 1.

Model - a cellphone

*Also, I know that I'm probably baring a part of my soul by linking to my Tumblr.. but yeah, I decided to let up.

24/365

I've always been a fan of basketball. NBA and PBA were sports I never failed to watch every time there was a league. However, being in college ignites this already lit passion for the sport.

Now I watch the UAAP.

And goodness, who wouldn't ever get smitten with the fact that not only are the basketball players from your school's team tall and handsome, you get to see them at school too were you in the right place at the right time?

I'm talking about Nico Salva here.

:) 

[Source]

Pshaw, I shall be taking a bath now.

23/365

If there's one thing this former obese person wants to tell to the word, it's this: stop obsessing over your weight. Being obsessed would be totally fine if you looked down and discovered that you can’t see your toes anymore because your tummy’s in the way but if you still look like a pole, then you don’t need to go to a dietician.. you need a freaking psychiatrist.


You know sometimes things like these make me lose faith in humanity. No, not really. But close to losing faith, I guess.

It's slightly pitiful, if you think about it. 

[Source]

22/365

It was nearly the end of the school year in our senior year when our teacher decided we have an open forum. In this opportune moment I spilled out what I've been keeping the whole time, my insecurity over the fact that I'll always be good at most things but never particularly amazing at one and the truth that I was able to survive my four years of high school because of my friends.

I was reminiscing all these stuff while I was at the Sec-C foyer overlooking the Matteo Ricci walk.

Matteo Ricci from Sec-C

Why I was doing that, I do not remember. It must cost me a lot of loneliness in college to obsess over high school, but ironically, I'm happy being in college. I guess not so when I'm with some people (ahem *Filipino* ahem), but I've made adjustments so outstanding and friends so true already; and I believe those are huge strides for someone like me (who's incidentally scared of certain people).

A poet's darling.

21/365

Due to the (still) lack of electricity in most areas in the eastern part of the Metro, we (brother and I) decided that we were to go out and watched Inception. However, his girlfriend wanted to watch The Sorcerer's Apprentice and so we had no choice but forego the Inception viewing in exchange for TSA, all the while wishing that the latter would give justice to the fact that we sacrificed what would've been an amazing movie getaway.

Fortunately, the movie did not disappoint much, if at all. After the movie, my brother kept commenting on how it was at least less sappier than most Disney movies and his girlfriend couldn't stop talking about the quirky lines.

Apprentice: Are you insane?
Cage: *makes an inch gap between thumb and forefinger*
Apprentice: A little, a little!

I'm still not sure I will ever like Mr. Cage, though; especially not in this movie. I mean, for someone who's supposedly a great sorcerer, conjuring up a bottle of anti-frizzy hair serum would not be a bother, surely?

I feel bad however for even thinking that thought I placed above, he *is* busy saving the world, after all.

20/365

I finally experienced my first storm of the year. And by storm, I mean not in the figurative sense. Last night the power was cut off and I had to practically experience hypothermia because the shower wasn't spurting out any hot water when I took a shower today.


I woke up to a dead cellphone battery, an electricity-deprived home, and a conscience telling me that I had to know if classes were on because I was beadle and it was my duty to tell my English blockmates the status of the school. After much mental debate, I decided it was best to go to school and to make sure that classes were really suspended. When I confirmed this rumor, I got back on a jeep, went to McDo hoping for internet, saw that every establishment had had its electricity cut off, went home and slept the deprivation away.


Anyway, I made a rather "offline" entry before I slept. Here it goes: a quick disclaimer, though; I do not like the rain much.


----

It’s raining again.

I don’t think I’ve ever told you this before — heaven knows I never tell you anything because you know what I feel even before I say it out loud, but the rain reminds me of you. The way it comes in times I need it most, the way its gentle pitter-patter on the facets of the roof becomes a metaphor for the times you gently - if at all - knock me on my head and tell me to be happier, the way it sounds like a thunderous applause from heaven yet soothes every frazzled nerves my body is harvesting on.

Yes, the rain reminds me of you. I guess that’s why I can never command my body to cease thinking of you; after all, it rains every time.

-----

Raindrops, however, never cease to fascinate me.

[source]

19/365:

You know what's worse than being intentionally left alone by your friends? It's being left alone by your friends because they have no choice but to do so. That's exactly what I hate about Filipino class. I honestly do not get why I have to suffer for the school's mistake to initially put me in Foreign Fil when I don't even look like a foreigner.

Person who was born and who grew up in another country =/= foreigner. Immigrant, perhaps. But not foreigner!

What have I done to deserve such a heartbreaking fate that

would last for a whole fat sem. :(

The only good thing about today's the fact that we had our first ADS GA. It was.. intimidating, to say the least. But I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

On a slightly unrelated note, WHO ELSE IS STOKED THAT SPAIN WON?

18/365

What most of my readers won't know about me is that I usually name my gadgets. It certainly doesn't help me handle them more carefully (heaven knows I'm clumsy with everything - named or otherwise), but it does make me less impartial with my things.

Having said that, I'd like you guys to say hi to Luna, my new Asus EEE PC whose name is just that because of her lid which looks like it's been scattered with stars..

..wait, Luna means moon right? Oh my goodness. Fail at the naming part?

Anyway, here's her unboxing!

My brother when I first laid my eyes on her: Sorry laptop, you'll just 

be another gadget she'll kill.

Me: NOT TRUE!!!

Last two pictures: Shiba (my first official laptop) and Luna. <3

17/365

I went to my first-even comic/anime con today! I'm not a fan so I didn't really appreciate it but it worked for me. After the con, I went to the hyped Forever 21 and due to the fact that I tend to deviate from shops and clothes and bright lights, I fear it would be a long time before I decide I want to go back.

16/365

I am almost certain that I wouldn't read my stuff if I were another person. Today's one of those days where you just know everything you write will be boring and will bore even yourself as you type. :/

Fortunately, today was far from boring. We had freecut in ES10 (Environmental Science) and then proceeded to have a 5-item quiz in ES12 Lab which we had no idea about. Obviously the whole class failed with scores ranging from 0 to 3 but since the professor was in a good mood, she gave us all a 5-point bonus.

After the class, I hung out with Tumblr friends at McDo until 4:00 where we did nothing but tease an oyster friend. At 4:30, a blockmate and I went inside the gym to watch the pep rally for the upcoming UAAP (the people need cheerers. LOL); the crowd was overwhelming. Blue blood's in my veins now. ;)

Photo from apparelateneo.com

The pep rally ended at 6 so I lounged at a mall then went to McDo for a YFC thing. Love. <3

Also, OH. MY. GOD. I GOT IN THE ATENEO DEBATE SOCIETY. IT'S MY DREAM ORG. INFINITELY HAPPY.

I never told anyone cos I had a mantra that at least, if I didn't make it, I would just say that nothing happened. I did. I did. It's not final yet but I'm part of the groups already and that must mean something, yes?

15/365

Oh, I forgot to mention. I stayed at Regular Math, so yep, no summer classes for me. Oh vey! However, I think I have some issues with 2 classmates (in different subjects).

Object A: They call him "Annoying Fag" which is totally immature but explainable.

I do not have qualms with people who are annoying because I'm quite annoying myself. However, when said person annoys even the most annoying person you know, then you're certain this will be huge. He's smart and all but he uses this to show off. He repeats everything the teacher says, only in question form. Like say, when the teacher tells us that we should all pass our requirements in an A4 bond paper, he'll go all.. "Ma'am? Should it be in bond? Can't we use graphing paper?"

Yep. He's that type of dude.


Object B: The know-it-all.

While Object A does not directly annoy me, Object B does not even try but my blood just boils at the sight of her. And the worst thing is, I can't get mad at her because she's.. okay.

I have girl issues. I guess it's because I hate know-it-alls and they provide as hindrances to do what I have to do.

Moving on, I watched She's the Man today because I have Futsal for PE and I felt it was timely. I love Channing Tatum. Always have, always will. Until I find another guy who looks like him and who's younger, that is.

Picture not mine. Please inform me if you know who owns this picture

so I could give credit.

BRB melting. (I see a picture of The Crucifixion on the background)

14/365

Things I hate (plus people I dislike) which will be banned from existing in this world after I become the dominatrix.

• Her. (Not to be confused with the other her. This one's an adult.)
• Not having freecuts when the teacher is absent. 
• Missing Qatar. :(

Today's one of those "Life was better when I didn't have college life to think of, when the biggest problem I had was not being able to find a pair of sock that matched."

I answered:

24/7 AC

PSD
shawarma
paglakad paikot-ikot kahit madaling-araw pero okay lang kasi safe naman
family

not exactly in that order. :D

13/365

Has the world gone topsy-turvy? I know my school has a reputation of being hard-on on English but this is ridiculous. We have to make an essay in Math. It was one of those times when you begin to wonder if you were in the right place or fate was playing games with you.

Anyway, a couple of blockmates and a couple of acquaintances (who were a couple, incidentally) and I went to Frutty Froyo today just to steer clear from all the current schoolwork that's burdening us. However, more than the Froyo, it was the conversations that made me shiver and not with delight.

I've always realized that boys were natural libidinous beings but this was far off. They were talking about bases and making out and this would make me the hugest traditionalist ever but I did nothing the whole time but pretend to not hear them and block out the noises they were making.

Jeez. :P Good thing I've come to love these people.

12/365

Today was hell.

And it could be better off explained in bullets (I love lists!):

• You know that org where you were sure you didn't give your best for? I was interviewed for that. I was hoping against hope that the interviewer would be merciful (indifferent at best) and would understand that I was unfit for being interviewed that day. However, when I got in.. TWO interviewers welcomed me. Ye gad! They grilled me.
• I am positive my English teacher hates me and would rather I fail. :|
• Everything just went from bad to positively worse today.

Fortunately, I have my brother. He must've sensed that I was in a foul mood (or maybe he didn't, seeing as boys are practically emotionally inept. LOL) so he allowed me to watch a movie on his laptop. I chose Stomp the Yard and I went down to microwave the popcorn while he went to treat me to Coke. 

Halfway through the film, I decided I wanted to have my nails painted but seeing as I'm the worst excuse ever for a female, he volunteered to paint on my nails the amazing Blue Midnight nail polish my sister left me to use. He was good. :)

11/365

I love kids. I swear I do. After dogs (and sometimes cats), kids are the next best thing to help relieve you of some stress. Unfortunately, some kids - especially those in the 4-6 year old brackets - are just more annoying than cute and sometimes you just want to tell them all to shut up because you have work to do but you couldn't because their parents are hovering nearby. Which, you know, is even more ironic since the parents are just sitting there idly, thinking their children are cute while they stomp on somebody else's laptop or pour chips on someone else's head.

Fortunately, before I got to the point of derangement, this cute kid made me smile for the rest of the day. She's only 2, she eats vegetables (even eeyugh, eggplant; by which she quips: "Diba eggplant? Bakit hindi violet?" - "This is eggplant, right? Why isn't it violet?") and she drinks lots of water that her mom actually forces her to drink soda.

Here she is, she's called Dora by my brother and she has a Facebook account.

Antipolo was amazing - as always. I don't get why people slightly kill themselves with the onslaught of Metro traffic when one can just go someplace like Antipolo and live there and avoid the hustle-bustle of the city. It isn't even too far from anything!

Don't believe me?

Suit yourself.

10/365

Today was a busy day. First, look at this:

Aaaand this:

So today was my grandmother's (technically my mom's aunt, we call her auntie since she's an old maid and she gets annoyed whenever we call her lola - she's slightly boyish. Like me, only more than half a century older.) late birthday celebration. It was a quiet ceremony, and we prepared the usual Filipino dish which dominates every birthday celebration: pasta.

After the family lunch, my brother and I backpacked and went on a roadtrip to Antipolo because his girlfriend's family-owned resort was having its anniversary and we were invited. Unfortunately, I had 2 poem interpretations, 1 short story and 1 creative nonfiction critique and 1 personal recommendation to do that had to be done the next day, so while everyone was having fun (and hogging the karaoke while practically making me temporarily deaf in the process), I was making those 5.

It was for an org. An org that, from the looks of my submissions themselves, practically shouts that nope, I'm not fit for doing things like these which entail lots of doggone work.

9/365

Fridays allow me to have 3 hours of break (as do Mondays) so I grabbed this one opportunity to sleep during the break and give my blockmates permission (LOL not so) to snap pictures of me sleeping. It was humiliating, to see pictures of myself while I was having a slumber 'cause I'm not exactly Sleeping Beauty.. fortunately, the camera's mine so if we go by the "Pictures or it didn't happen" rule, nothing happened. ;)

Move along, move along.. nothing to see here. Except for the fact that we met our teacher for a certain subject for the first time today and OH. MY. GOD. She totally looks like him. Only, you know.. less green.

8/365

Math can be amazing sometimes, only more often than not, it gets terribly nauseating especially when you get to the tests part.

Today was the Math's departmental exam and it's meant to know whether a student should go to Ma1 (Basic Math, this requires you to take up summer classes) or Ma11 (Regular Math). Obviously, no one wanted to go back to the basic Math so everyone crammed for what would be the greatest obstacle we would have to face as collegians (I like that

word - collegians).

Anyway, here are pictures of the supposedly study time which resulted in.. I don't know.. 5 hours worth of doing nothing but throw each other food and tease who's better off with who.

We can only pretend to study. :( That's my classmate up there.