He was most things I promised myself I hated.

He was self-righteous, a pompous ass, a know-it-all, a dog-phobic and a bully. It's like every inch of him was shouting at me to stop staring, stop daydreaming and just continue to live my life as if he wasn't already a part of it.

But it was his presence that was so intoxicating.

After all, even if he were most things I hate, he were some things I loved, too. He was smart. He was dedicated, loyal, amazing with instruments, and he made me laugh. More importantly, he sat beside me that night, erased all awkwardness between us, and just talked. About school, about life, about the world and everything in it.

It's amazing how I can hate his very presence one moment and be infatuated with everything he is the next. I don't know how he does it, or if he knows I'm hopelessly sucked in..

..but I'm not willing to let go. Not just yet.

This is one hell of a roller coaster ride, and I'm dangling off the edge, but I'm going to see how it goes.

"..."

"You can't be serious.." I said, with tears threatening to fall down like Niagara Falls. I had to stop them, though.. so I bit my inner cheek until I tasted rust, the taste of blood.

"I wish I weren't," were your first words. "I wish we'd both wake up tomorrow morning laughing because nothing that's happened tonight had been real."

"It's kinda stupid, no? How you detested this place during the earlier part of your stay.."

"..until I met you."

I exhaled loudly and it shocked me, I didn't know I was holding my breath then. I did the next best thing a friend was obligated to do, wrap my arms around your shoulders and pat you at the back, desperately fighting back tears, desperately losing..

You held both my hands with yours, squeezed it then leaned back to look me in the eyes..

"I'm not leaving," you said.

"But you just said you were."

"I'll," you released my right hand.

"Always," you raised yours.

"Be," you pulled me closer.

"Here," you pointed at my heart.

Then you kissed me. It was haste, but I felt it. My lips still tingled every time I recalled that memory.

Now, I'm going to kiss you.. and although you're in a coma for 5 days now, I know you'll feel it.. I know you'll wake up, I know we'll both remember that night when you said you'll always be here. With me, beside me.

You never left me. You came back, it was a long wait.. but we both struggled, and in the end.. we both succeeded.

Now, please come back.. I'm here, I'm waiting, just like those times I've waited for you when we were 16. I won't leave you..

I love you too much to do that.

Sanity and Forever

I never knew what love was. Heck, I never even acknowledge its existence until after that night on the 23rd. Or 24th. Or maybe in between, all this talk about space and time confuse me so. But one thing is sure, whatever that was.. it was magical.

I know I don't really act the way people set parameters for as to how normal girls should act, I know I don't even give a damn on how I look like in the mirror, nor do I comb my hair or fix it up.

I know I don't do things the way you like them to.. call me arrogant, but I guess it's you with the problem.

Just you.

I never really knew I in was love with you. Why? Because every time you talk to me, I feel normal. I don't feel light headed, no butterflies erupt in my stomach, no nasty twists and turns.

When I talk to you, I don't stammer. My heart beats normally, if not slower.. my hands cease sweating.. my confidence oozes from every deep crease from within, and radiates itself to you.

When you smile, no magical rainbows appear and no arrows puncture my heart.

Why do I love you?

And more especially, why do I love you so sanely?

Why don't days always turn for the good when I'm with you? Why does it not rain when all I want is to feel comfort? Why do birds fly when they should be singing hymns to celebrate us two?

That's how fairy tales work, and maybe - at the back of my mind - I expected things to work out the same way.

But they didn't.

And you know what, I'm glad.

I'm glad ours isn't like a fairytale. I'm glad ours isn't a magical world full of positives. I'm even glad that we experience heart aches at times.

You know why?

Because I'd rather live in a life of reality with you plus a forever, than living in a fantasy world with a prince plus a happy ending.

Forevers never end. Endings? They fear that everlasting word.

Which made me remember what you said last night..

"Which is longer, forever or an eternity?"

"Are you asking about us?"

"Yes"

"Then I will love you more than those two combined."

___________________________________

This was something I posted in a fanfiction site, I don't remember what my password is, though.. so I can't open it. One of my very first works. :)

Blue has always been his favourite color,

hers was the palest shade of green. He lived in a vast mansion were fields of roses greeted him as he woke up, she in an apartment were her only source of greenery were her mother's poinsettias.

He saw her while he was on his Bentley, waiting for the doggone traffic sign to turn green. She saw him while she was on her way to the subway, tripping on the styrofoam cups that littered the sidewalk.

He invited her to lunch that same day. She agreed.

Today he's saying his vows; she's itching to do the same.

"I do."

Cliff.

Every time we fall, we don't just stand up.. and although this may sound more pessimistic than it really is, when we do stand up, we're more scared. More scared to fall again, to be hurt once more, and to show our vulnerability to people who believe in what we can do.

This is my story, I'm Sofia, and I have Osteogenesis Imperfecta.

What I have learned, though.. is that however scared we may become.. there's always someone who'll be there and who knows you can do everything but anticipates your fall. There will always be someone who may not give a promise of forever but a life of devotion.

He was that someone to me.

____________________________________

Forgive me for the inconsistency and the fact that at the end of the selection, I lost my train of thought. My sister entered the room and it halted my brain to make a story.

An almost happy ending

She slowly placed her feet down and sat on her bed, she always faced her right side since she read somewhere that sleeping on your left pressures your heart. A sigh escaped from her lips, then a slight tilt of head, slightly regretful, mostly hurt.

As she stood up she allowed a wave of memory encircle her thoughts. Was it just yesterday that he asked her that question?

Was it just yesterday that he knelt on one knee and proposed his love?

More especially, was it just yesterday that she looked at him, eyes brimming with tears and said yes?

She walked to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator and longed.. she saw a half-opened pack of Chips Ahoy, 2 Cokes, a Ben & Jerry's.. all these have been his. Bitterly, she closed the frozen spectrum and took a glass, filled it with tap water, and went to the living room.

She lied down on the floor, looking up at the ceiling he painted with his bare hands last summer. Andromeda was there, her favourite. On another corner was Sirius, it was his. No movies, no sounds, just their hearts pounding as they stare up at the ceiling and discuss their lives that are much, much grander than the universe.

When her neck was strained she cautiously raised her back and with trembling hands she reached for the remote control.. the hue of the television was vicious, as was her temperament earlier that day.

She flicked it to the local news channel, and once again, her numbness disappeared and her head started to throb because of the sudden surge of emotion..

The headline said.. "Lt. Arnold Fall, Army: Found dead while fighting for country."

"I love him." was her last words before she drifted once again to space, wishing she would wake up tomorrow morning with bliss.