Sometimes I fear too much.

I fear that thought of realizing that everyone and everything I hold special to me as of this moment will come off as trivial, as immature, and as too simplistic when I get older.

I fear that one day people will demand of me and I will not be able to meet their needs; not because I do not want to but because I cannot, not because I am unwilling but because I am incapable.

I fear that I will disappoint. It is not so much that I fear disappointing the people that surround me but it is the thought of disappointing myself that gives me weak knees and Pacific Oceans for palms. For a kid with dreams that - right now - seem impossible but probable, seem improbable but possible, I fear that the I of the future would crush the hopes and aspirations of the I in the present.

I fear that moment in time when I could've done something great but I didn't because I was unsure. I fear that the moment has already passed, and it will never come again, not even to whiz by me through the fleeting glance of a stranger.

I fear giving my heart to someone not because it is much too fragile but because I do not know what someone does when someone else is in possession of the said heart.

I fear deception. I fear failure. I fear fear in itself.

Maybe someday I will talk about my strengths, about courage, about solidity.

Maybe someday.

But not now.